MKMMA 2018 Week 2 – Letting Go
I am finding myself resisting. I think a lot of it is because I have so many things going on in my life. Not to complain or even rationalize (maybe rationalize a little) the time I have in a day because I travel to work I get a little less “Free Time” than others, I work 40 hours a week, I drive 45 minutes one way (1.5 hours a day) lunch, sleep, before I even think about it 18.5 hours of each of 5 days of my week are gone. Saturday and Sunday leaves me 32 more hours so at best 59.5 hours a week before even thinking about any household services buying groceries, meal prep etc. not to mention spending any time with my family, then I am getting ready for Christmas all beforeI signed up for the my Master Key Course, I honestly catch the thought “man I must be crazy” once in a while. Time for myself is a real challenge to make happen. Yet that is exactly what I am doing. I commit to change my old blue print. To not resist, and to let go of that inner voice saying “what’s wrong with skipping just one read, or one sit?” I find myself struggling with myself late at night or even early morning doing my read wondering feeling like I should already be in bed (a thought perhaps that needs changing) to have a chance to wake up feeling more energy than I ever thought possible with so much to do. What can I sacrifice?
I really love so many things about life that it is really challenging to focus, truly focus on the important things (there are so many). Readings 3 times a day, sit for 15-30 minutes, spend more time with my family (I really can neglect this one at times) it all sounds great, I really intend to do it and yet somehow I find myself arguing, really arguing with myself. It would be okay if you just skip this one read, knowing I have such and such to do commitments I have made, and they are important, I feel myself thinking “I can’t do both” and then doing my best to get both done anyway, I am realizing this struggle and how profound it is in my current mental blueprint. Having taken the MKMMA once before I know what it takes, I chipped off a lot of that proverbial cement, doing my reads, making the sits, revising my DMP and that was a kicker, I wrote it but I read it, but I was never truly certain about what I wanted. It took a while to figure it out. Heck I’m still unsure at times. I can be what I will to be, keeps going through my head, and I WILL to do better and to be better. One step of faith after another. I know the power behind what I am doing and that I will succeed.
My “service/chore” for this week, find a racing suit for Santa.
Looking at my PPN’s from my last MKE I had Liberty and Spiritual Growth. Both very important to me, and even though I had already made up my cards going while on the webinar when Mark spoke about Autonomy it really clicked for me. Autonomy is more important to me than Liberty but both are important to me, but Autonomy won out.
I have a challenge I have been working through that I don’t want to share publicly that has been a real challenge for me, accepting it and working to see the divine in it has been a real challenge but knowing that my thoughts create my reality I am working to accept it and think the best about the situation.
My wife is gone to Texas for a week with her company and I have Jury Duty so this next week may prove to be a challenge. That’s why I am getting my blog in now. One requirement accomplished. DO IT NOW!!! Done.